Moody Behaviour after an exchange with someone is usually a symptomatic reaction to not having been heard or understood. To being treated poorly or having been dismissed out of hand. Moodiness is a common reaction within any individual that has a limiting belief or expectation that someone else won’t hear what it is that they have to say in response to the aforementioned treatment. Low blood sugars, stress, lack of sleep and unresolved issues will of course all be contributors… But sudden out of the blue moods after an exchange are often a sign that that interaction didn’t result in a favourable way for you. All of the aforementioned issues might also help this issue to be dealt with much more reasonably if a person were to balance their sugars, stress load or get some good quality sleep too.
Looking at this now from a reactionary point of view. If we catch ourselves acting out or being moody suddenly in reaction. We must stop and just like anyone else we care about we would discuss things. We must attend to the unmet need within us that requires some attention. We must hear ourselves out, communicate with ourselves, reason with and parent our inner child.
The key here is to be proactive and to take action as soon as is possible. Deciding to take action on our moods prevents any further repetition of pushing down angry or resentful feelings. Which is great for avoiding the potential of building up more annoyance that will likely implode or explode at a further date or at the wrong person.
Grabbing a pen and paper to journal out your thoughts to the above questions can be really helpful in this situation….
(Don’t try and do this in your head just yet. Writing stuff out on paper and then destroying it especially with moods can be a really effective strategy for release).
So with pen to paper ask yourself: “Hey ‘[Insert your own name]’ - What’s going on here?” - You could ask yourself “When did this mood begin?” - Really consider when it began or started? “What is it you are feeling right now?” - Give yourself permission to really recognise, identify and express yourself on how you are feeling...
“Who or what am I annoyed at or with?” - Who else is involved in this situation? “Why are you reacting moodily? What actually happened here? and what do you hope your mood will achieve?“ - Look at your justification for why you are being moody right now - Your justification is always your reason and story for why you are right and another is wrong - This exercise isn’t about validating rightness or assigning blame, this is about looking at what you are believing to be true and real that is potentially driving and reinforcing your moody behaviour.
“Am I being reasonable or unreasonable here?”
“What advice would I give to someone else in a similar situation? - Looking at it from an outside perspective what might you recognise and recommend?
“What appropriate action can I take here?” If I took that action what might that likely create for the future? How might that work out and how would it resolve things and create harmony for me?”
“I wonder if my wise self was around right now, what might they say that that could be an alternative course of action I could take?” “If I took this suggestion from my wise self to address things address things would I later be later proud of that?
If you can’t get a viable option that feels good and allows you to respond from no reaction ask yourself: “Is there someone I could reach out to, to help me handle this situation who is wise and impartial?”
“Who could you discuss this with?” Reach out for advice and hear what someone recommends, does it make you feel lighter and calmer? & would your wise self agree that that solution would likely create a greater outcome here?
Asking questions to ourselves can be really uplifting and helpful in changing our attitude and moving the energy of that presenting mood. We can give ourselves the quality time, words of encouragement and kindness to hear our thoughts and feelings and then recognise them.
Checking in that you have the best solution for you; should almost completely defuse your mood enabling you to go speak to a person directly and stop stuffing down anger or conclusions about the future. It's ok to feel nervous, it's okay to splutter or feel uncomfortable as you deliver what needs to be said. But with each practice a new neural pathway will be travelled and it will get easier and easier with practice. This exercise just might defuse your feelings in a way you haven’t gifted to yourself before. Be your own impartial best friend here and try this exercise, and if it works…. Do It on repeat or some variation that works for you until it becomes a new way of being!! With Love Haylee X